Real (better) life - Update #2

HeyHey

I need to say in advance that this is supposed to be a quick update, but the truth is that to write it down I'm taking more time than what I expected.

After my Bloggiversary, I had tons and tons of ideas for new blog posts. None of them has been realized, not yet. Everything is inside my head, I planned every photo shoot it takes to make every blog post, I have new materials (clothes, gifts, shoes...) to show you and books to write about. 

The reason for which all these ideas are unrealized is not a lack of time or ideas but because I lately thought about myself a little bit more. Some aspects of my life are changing in negative, others in positive, others are as they were before. 

The real update is that I'm changing, I'm going through a phase in my life that I've been waiting for a long time. If I need to quickly say what changed I can write you a sort of list.

- I have a best friend. A new one, surprisingly is a guy, we get along and he understands me. 

- I didn't stop biting my nails as I wanted to, but I'm starting to lose weight again. It may be a long journey, it may end in few weeks...I already lost 6 kgs and I'm starting to feel good with my body, I'm happy for what I've achieved and I'm looking forward to arrive at the body-shape I've always wanted.

- I met new persons, I have fun with them, laugh a lot and I'm always looking forward to spend a night with them, even if it means to spend money playing billiards and darts at the Pub. 

- I have new friends at the Uni. Some of them, almost everybody, are older than me, but this is not a problem at all, I find myself talking with someone way older than me as if he/she was my age.

- I often drive and even if I'm alone in the car for 10 minutes, I really enjoy this time by myself, I think a lot and listen to good music, of every king.

- I have a special friendship with my cousin that, for me, has become a sister.

- Yesterday, with my scout group, we went in Tuscany and picked some chestnuts. We than ate them in front of the fireplace. Really nice day out.

- I got a new haircut. Nothing special but still, something new that makes me happy.

- I like to workout

- I'm using less make up

- I finished to read '' And the mountains echoed'' by Khaled Hosseini and I found it amazingly beautiful.

- I finished ''Breaking Bad'' and just started ''Game of Thrones''

- I went to the Eurochocolate with my friends, here's a picture of us

Sofia - Giulio - Chiara - Me - AnnaMarta

These are small and big events that made my life a little better this month, hopefully everything will stay as it is now, or will improve in November. 

I didn't mentioned certain aspects of my life that, at the moment, are not in their ''rose period'', but I really do hope that I'll solve them out soon.

On the 10th of November I'll have my first exam, and for this reason, until that day I may not be able to post anything. Being so cold outside, I think I'll have more time to stay in my home and write something down. 

In the meantime, I wish you all an amazing week, enjoy autumn !

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The headphones' world .

HeyHey

I'm writing this blog post really quickly, because I should go upstairs and study English for the literature test I'll have tomorrow and for philosophy oral test.
Lately the only one thing that I can do for hours and hours...is listening to music. On Christmas, as you probably read in this blog post, I got this big white pair of headphones, that i really wanted because I saw something like this on Cassie in Skins Pure: if you don't know who she is or what i'm talking about...you better start watching Skins, you don't know what you're losing! It's one of my favorite tv series ever!
In any case, the fact that I can isolate myself so often, helps me relax. I've been spending many afternoons and evenings alone at home, in some cases because i had to study, in others because i was tired. I always find myself that little spot in my daily life in which i can reflect on several things; why did i give dieting? should I save money for a better DSLR Camera that can make video as well? Should i restart working out? When am i going to finally take my drive license?...these are just some of the things that i need to figure out in my life, I don't want to write a whole page about them of course.

When I have my headphones on I can think about my problems and, at the same time, I can escape from them, some ways. Not quite sure why I need this so bad, I just know what to sit and think about these things it's basically one of those things i can't give up doing. 

The song you can listen to in the video at the beginning of the post is my favourite song at the moment, it's the only one that can give my mind that little push it needs to start ''sailing''

What do you do when it comes to your personal space for thinking ?

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(I recently uploaded new pics from my summer holiday in Germany, go check them out on Flickr !)

Random chat .

HeyHey!  

How are you? One week ago I wrote a post about my favourites of the month and it seems like you didn't like it that much, am I right? Well, at least, that's what  Blogger says showing the visualisations of the different posts I wrote. I think I'll try to reduce this kind of topic (like girly one), they are more for "fashion blogger" (that I am not and I don't want to be). I will basically stop because I feel like it's not what I started to write about. I don't want/can/should become a fashion blogger or something like that, not my style ahah In any case, this is just a quick talk/update. 

I almost recover completely from the bronchitis. This week I went back at school was absolutely terrible; all the oral and written tests I missed those 5 days I spent at home sick, I had to remake during this week, although I already had other tests. This led me to cry a lot, to swear against everything, to be particularly mad ad anyone for stupid reasons; In few words, I was hysterical (as my brother kindly defined me). BUT all this negativity/hate I had against school...made me appreciate/enjoy even more all those things I do more than study, such as the two acting lessons I'm taking (one of them is almost over, on the 17th we'll have the play we've worked on), scout, gymnastic (that right now is basically coming back to school walking as much as I can) etc. I even started paying more attention on the things I watch and hear. 

I had a small time on Friday afternoon to shopping with mum and I bought a couple of items I've already wear ahah I don't know what about you but I really like to start wearing things when they are new! I can't wait to see how I style them and stuff. 

This weekend I haven't done much. Let's start saying that my weekend starts on Saturday afternoon (because in the morning I have school). I was out with friends during the afternoon and than out again in the evening for a 20 bday aperitif/dinner (this was so cool).

Oh I had the check at the dietitian...it strangely went well. When I told her I started to eat again in a nervous way when I study, she really seemed a bit bothered, and for this reason when it came out I lost 1.3 kg (basically doing nothing special)  she was as surprised as I was!

Okay this blog post is turning into a single chatter about my life and a bounce of events you don't even care about ahah sorry! To make this post a bit more interesting I'll post a picture of how I started decorating my bedroom for Christmas 

The quality is not the best one, this red looks way brighter than the original (made with iPhone)

For the first time I bought these cute little lights for my bedroom. I saw them in many YouTube videos and i thought  they were so cute I couldn't wait to buy them at the Chinese shop, where I was surely going to find them for few euros (100 lights, 4€). Lots of people have them in blue and I personally searched for white/blue lights but then when I didn't find them I realised that maybe this warm yellow light was going to be more adapt to my bedroom, that has cream walls and red items everywhere. 

The deck I got from Butlers is so cute and you can turn it and there's the same print on the other side but in blue, white and maybe green (can't properly remember right now tbh ahah)

Have a nice week everyone :) 

Remember that Life is a game we play !

My F***** DIET !

HeyHey!

So, as i wrote several time, i can't consider myself a thin person, not at all. Althought people say i'm not, i consider myself chubby!

Yes, that's the percet adjective. Althought my size is not that small, i like the fact that, since the fact i've been a gymnast for 9 years, i'm quite tonic (my butt stays up bitches! ahah)

But this is not the point. As i said in my introduction/blog post titled ''What to do with my blog'' i should use this internet page to wreak me. Let's do this!

This summer, at the beginning of June i decided to start a diet. I went to this dietician that i really liked and that gave me a diet where i really could EAT. 

Unlikely, the first time i've been on a diet (i guess 3 or 4 years ago), i lost almost 4kgs on the first month that is not healthy but at the time made me really happy, but the problem with that diet was that i ate almost everyday rice, spelt, chicken, some vegetables and some fruits (i also had fish but i don't like it at all so i just replaced it with chicken). The dietitian removed all the carbohydrates i was eating. That gave me result but it couldn't last for so long. I was hungry for the biggest part of the daytime.

When i started this new diet i had trubles to respect the doses of food that woman gave me for every meal because it was too much. We had as purpose to teach me how to eat in an healthy way. As you probably know (if you don't go check out the last blog post about some random facts about me!) i don't eat that bad because i don't like cream, whipped cream, gums, sparkling drinks etc. Living in Italy also leads me not to eat with too much mayo, or ketchup (oh, also this one i don't really like), not so many sweets, like really fat ones that i see in pictures from american channels. I get easily fatter because of pizza and pasta, and who wouldn't when you get the chance to eat them everyday? This is not pizza case, i eat it once a week, and not every week. But pasta, that's my average lunch because is easy to cook and it's ready after few minutes.

So basically, i started with this diet in a really good way. Althought i've been traveling a lot this summer, and there were many bday parties i've been to...I lost weight. I did, 5 kgs in 3 months that is an healthy way to lose weight and learn how to eat at the same time. I went out for a walk of 1h30 every day, and also when i went travelling i used to walk a lot.

(Picture found on the internet)

BUT when school started I stopped losing weight. At the beginning i thought that it was because i was actually facing that moment when you realize that the fat you have on your body are kgs that stayed there for several months so they took longer to get away from your body. After another months where i kept thinking this i was not loosing weight again. In that moment I realize i was not having free time to walk and exercise anymore. Since September i've started the school year again, and i also started two different acting classes with a group at school and another one, composed by older people. What i was missing was also the time i needed to prepare my big healthy salads and the attention i had for the doses, of both foods and condiments. 

So, on the 27th of September i went to the dietician for the average control, that always gave me positive responses. It was not the same for that time. I basically didn't really know what to do when she told me i lost no one kgs. I was eating less than the average, I was trying to work out more often. I just started crying when i went out. Since that day i didn't really focused on the diet that more, i felt like i was doing something that was not fitting for me, like i'm never going to be as thin as i want to be, i'll never have my friends size. 

The biggest mistake was to let the self-pity to take over me. 

And now here i am, after two tremendous weeks at school, with thousands of tests and assignments to do, two weeks in which i've been eating constanlty for the so call ''emotional eating'' (or at least thats how google stranslated what we call ''nervous eating''), i'll have the control at the dietitian's next week, on Friday and i'm 100% sure i gaigned at least 1kg this week. 

I honestly don't know if i should keep spending money on something that i'm believing everyday less but that could remind me constanlty what was the goal i wanted to reach at the beginning  OR to take a couple of months to think if i want to do this seriously, taking a break from the diet ofc, but this is not the best solution considering that christmas is over and it will be so hard to control myself with all those sweets etc.

What would you suggest me? Have you ever been in this situation or on diet in general? Let me know in the comment below. I aplogize for grammar/typing mistakes, it's just that my hands are so cold right now!

I now have Bloglovin and i'm trying to claim my blog's link there, so you could get notification everytime i write somethign new, if you enjoy my blog ofc :)

I wish you a good weekend, althought yours started on Friday, differently from mine ahah