Spring crisis .

Let's be honest. At the moment I'm going trough a bad period. 

I eat everything, at every moment of my day and than I complain about the fact I'm gaining weight, I gave up on my diet. 

I can't study. I sit, read and than start wondering about several things. I think a lot, I force myself to stay focused...but I just can't. 

I'm constantly waiting for a break, although I just had one for the school trip, one week ago. It already seems a month or two that I'm not temporary away from school. Easter holiday are next week, but I won't be able to stand this all week I still have to face. 

The worst part of this situation is that I know what's going on but I'm not reacting. I keep telling myself I need to study I won't make it to the final exams this year, I keep confessing people that I'm not a good student, not as good as I used to be...I'm just bad now. I feel ignorant, I feel frustrated from the fact that I'm the only one who fails at everything in my class. But still, I do not react. 

I thought it was because I'm way more attached to YouTube than what I used to be (I'm planning to open my YouTube channel this summer, I'm saving money to get a DSLR camera that can film as well), because I'm often busy with theater, because I'm focused in this blog...it's not like this. 

All I do is sitting in front of the desk, with or without headphones on, and start wandering why I'm doing nothing, what's wrong with me, what's the solution at this situation.

Give up and repeat the year? It seemed an option, that I didn't confess to anyone of course. But again, it's a sufferance to stay in this high school, I'm looking forward to go to Uni, I need to change life, I can't stand another year like this one. 

I don't feel the pressure of the exams coming, I don't care about what my teachers say when I take a bad mark. And I don't even feel like this blog post helped me out in any way, I would love to have a positive feedback from all you people that are part of the 675 visualizations I reached. 

I need your advises. When I started writing I didn't really think that someone could be interested in this "little internet space of mine" but than I saw the visualizations growing higher and higher after every blog post and now I'm expecting and hoping for a proper "talk" with you. 

I don't know what to do . This blog post is the way I have chosen to let off steam! Sorry if it's not the average one i write, I just didn't feel like an average calm post.