My F***** DIET !

HeyHey!

So, as i wrote several time, i can't consider myself a thin person, not at all. Althought people say i'm not, i consider myself chubby!

Yes, that's the percet adjective. Althought my size is not that small, i like the fact that, since the fact i've been a gymnast for 9 years, i'm quite tonic (my butt stays up bitches! ahah)

But this is not the point. As i said in my introduction/blog post titled ''What to do with my blog'' i should use this internet page to wreak me. Let's do this!

This summer, at the beginning of June i decided to start a diet. I went to this dietician that i really liked and that gave me a diet where i really could EAT. 

Unlikely, the first time i've been on a diet (i guess 3 or 4 years ago), i lost almost 4kgs on the first month that is not healthy but at the time made me really happy, but the problem with that diet was that i ate almost everyday rice, spelt, chicken, some vegetables and some fruits (i also had fish but i don't like it at all so i just replaced it with chicken). The dietitian removed all the carbohydrates i was eating. That gave me result but it couldn't last for so long. I was hungry for the biggest part of the daytime.

When i started this new diet i had trubles to respect the doses of food that woman gave me for every meal because it was too much. We had as purpose to teach me how to eat in an healthy way. As you probably know (if you don't go check out the last blog post about some random facts about me!) i don't eat that bad because i don't like cream, whipped cream, gums, sparkling drinks etc. Living in Italy also leads me not to eat with too much mayo, or ketchup (oh, also this one i don't really like), not so many sweets, like really fat ones that i see in pictures from american channels. I get easily fatter because of pizza and pasta, and who wouldn't when you get the chance to eat them everyday? This is not pizza case, i eat it once a week, and not every week. But pasta, that's my average lunch because is easy to cook and it's ready after few minutes.

So basically, i started with this diet in a really good way. Althought i've been traveling a lot this summer, and there were many bday parties i've been to...I lost weight. I did, 5 kgs in 3 months that is an healthy way to lose weight and learn how to eat at the same time. I went out for a walk of 1h30 every day, and also when i went travelling i used to walk a lot.

(Picture found on the internet)

BUT when school started I stopped losing weight. At the beginning i thought that it was because i was actually facing that moment when you realize that the fat you have on your body are kgs that stayed there for several months so they took longer to get away from your body. After another months where i kept thinking this i was not loosing weight again. In that moment I realize i was not having free time to walk and exercise anymore. Since September i've started the school year again, and i also started two different acting classes with a group at school and another one, composed by older people. What i was missing was also the time i needed to prepare my big healthy salads and the attention i had for the doses, of both foods and condiments. 

So, on the 27th of September i went to the dietician for the average control, that always gave me positive responses. It was not the same for that time. I basically didn't really know what to do when she told me i lost no one kgs. I was eating less than the average, I was trying to work out more often. I just started crying when i went out. Since that day i didn't really focused on the diet that more, i felt like i was doing something that was not fitting for me, like i'm never going to be as thin as i want to be, i'll never have my friends size. 

The biggest mistake was to let the self-pity to take over me. 

And now here i am, after two tremendous weeks at school, with thousands of tests and assignments to do, two weeks in which i've been eating constanlty for the so call ''emotional eating'' (or at least thats how google stranslated what we call ''nervous eating''), i'll have the control at the dietitian's next week, on Friday and i'm 100% sure i gaigned at least 1kg this week. 

I honestly don't know if i should keep spending money on something that i'm believing everyday less but that could remind me constanlty what was the goal i wanted to reach at the beginning  OR to take a couple of months to think if i want to do this seriously, taking a break from the diet ofc, but this is not the best solution considering that christmas is over and it will be so hard to control myself with all those sweets etc.

What would you suggest me? Have you ever been in this situation or on diet in general? Let me know in the comment below. I aplogize for grammar/typing mistakes, it's just that my hands are so cold right now!

I now have Bloglovin and i'm trying to claim my blog's link there, so you could get notification everytime i write somethign new, if you enjoy my blog ofc :)

I wish you a good weekend, althought yours started on Friday, differently from mine ahah